Whoopi Needs A Whuppin'

All these years I’ve been living a lie.
Thanks go to “entertainer” Whoopi Goldberg for alerting me to the fact that I’m not what I thought. Since birth I’ve been under the impression I was a Southerner, right down to the birth certificate and dead relatives who perished in gray uniforms during the Scuffle Between the States.
But Whoopi says if I were a true Southerner I’d be just like Mike Vick, a born-again dogfighting fan.
Whoopi made this blanket indictment of Southerners during her premiere appearance as a co-host on non-hit TV show “The View.” Speaking of Vick’s fondness for dogfighting, Goldberg said, “From his background, this is not an unusual thing where he comes from. It’s like cockfighting in Puerto Rico.”
When asked by another host-ette where Vick “comes from,” Goldberg leaned over and almost whispered, “He’s from the South.”
Nice job, Whoopi. Your predecessor, Rosie O’Donnell only managed to alienate “The View’s” conservative audience. You’ve managed to alienate a whole region of the country.
By now, Whoopi’s probably learned that dogfighting is about as regional as heat rash ands sour mash. Maybe one of these days—preferably after she apologizes to all Southerners—Whoopi will get her facts straight. She played a nun in a few bad movies. Maybe it’s time for Whoopi to take a vow of silence.