Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Technical problems
The blog is closed for business on Wednesday, September 26. The dog ate my computer. Back tomorrow with bells (and whistles) on.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Iranians may be happy, but they're not gay.
Iranian President Mahmoud "Nutcase" Ahmadenijad just finished an action-packed visit to the U.S. On day two, he was hooted at the United Nations. His first day in the U.S. was his best, though. That's when he spoke to alleged "students" at Columbia University.
After a scolding from the school president, Ahmadenijad rambled a bit about his wacky ideas and tried to defend his earlier statements that the holocaust didn't really happen. But the best part was when—in the kind of stunning cultural statement usually reserved for the Sean Penns and Susan Sarandons of the world,—Ahmadenijad announced there were no gay people in Iran.
If Iran's queasy core of supporters ever needed a reason to bash this boy, there it is. An entire country with no gay people? Heresy. In a world where diversity is celebrated above competence and common sense, this dude couldn't have made a bigger blunder.
The fact that Iran is building nukes doesn't bother some people. This will. Ahmadenijad may soon be booted off the world stage for insensitivity, if nothing else.
If not, expect gay leaders to push for the sexual desegregate the former Persia. From a distance, of course. Elton may cook up a Gay Rights concert for Iran, but you can bet he'll perform it somewhere else. Somewhere people still have the right to think, say and be...what they want without fear of the Muslim "re-education" squads.
After a scolding from the school president, Ahmadenijad rambled a bit about his wacky ideas and tried to defend his earlier statements that the holocaust didn't really happen. But the best part was when—in the kind of stunning cultural statement usually reserved for the Sean Penns and Susan Sarandons of the world,—Ahmadenijad announced there were no gay people in Iran.
If Iran's queasy core of supporters ever needed a reason to bash this boy, there it is. An entire country with no gay people? Heresy. In a world where diversity is celebrated above competence and common sense, this dude couldn't have made a bigger blunder.
The fact that Iran is building nukes doesn't bother some people. This will. Ahmadenijad may soon be booted off the world stage for insensitivity, if nothing else.
If not, expect gay leaders to push for the sexual desegregate the former Persia. From a distance, of course. Elton may cook up a Gay Rights concert for Iran, but you can bet he'll perform it somewhere else. Somewhere people still have the right to think, say and be...what they want without fear of the Muslim "re-education" squads.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Whine of the Week
Is there anything we can't complain about today?
Our outrage du jour comes from the Koehler Senior Center in Mahopac, N.Y. For years the county had been donating free donuts and other baked goods to the seniors.
Then someone said (probably quite rightly) that the goodies weren't healthy. So the free goodies soon stopped. Some seniors are complaining. Why? Not because they miss their unhealthy (but mostly delicious) treats. Nope, folks are fussing because they didn't have a say in whether or not their free food delivery would continue. One resident said, "It was a matter of respect" and that the seniors—not the people delivering the free donuts— should have made the decision on whether or not to keep accepting the freebies. So now canceling free donuts is showing disrespec? What's next...a lawsuit? I wouldn't be surprised. In modern America, if something doesn't go your way, you don't solve the problem, you take it to court.
By the way, there's a donut shop right down the street. Wonder if these seniors have considered their "right' to go buy all the jelly donuts they want.
Our outrage du jour comes from the Koehler Senior Center in Mahopac, N.Y. For years the county had been donating free donuts and other baked goods to the seniors.
Then someone said (probably quite rightly) that the goodies weren't healthy. So the free goodies soon stopped. Some seniors are complaining. Why? Not because they miss their unhealthy (but mostly delicious) treats. Nope, folks are fussing because they didn't have a say in whether or not their free food delivery would continue. One resident said, "It was a matter of respect" and that the seniors—not the people delivering the free donuts— should have made the decision on whether or not to keep accepting the freebies. So now canceling free donuts is showing disrespec? What's next...a lawsuit? I wouldn't be surprised. In modern America, if something doesn't go your way, you don't solve the problem, you take it to court.
By the way, there's a donut shop right down the street. Wonder if these seniors have considered their "right' to go buy all the jelly donuts they want.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
More On The Surge
After a recent post, several of you took me to task for saying we're not succeeding in Iraq because we didn't make the enemy uncomfortable enough when we first attacked. I stand by my position.
I don't—and won't—ever consider a war time enemy "people we are trying to help." We didn't go to war to help the Iraqis, but to help ouselves and protect America from terrorists. If the Iraqis benefit from a regime change, fine. If not, we'll try and help after the shooting ceases.
If we plan wars based on trying to make an enemy love us rather than fear us, we're going to lose. History proves it.
That's not just my opinion. Gulf War I aside, we haven't won a major war since WW II ended. And we didn't end that one with kindness.
One old-timer who knew how to fight and win wars was General William Tecumseh Sherman. He's still reviled in the parts of Georgia he burned on the march from Atlanta to Savannah, but four months after Sherman hit Savannah, the War Between the States ended.
Sherman hated war, as do all who fight and die in battle. But he knew how to win. Here are three of Sherman's nuggets about military success:
1. “If the people raise a great howl against my barbarity and cruelty, I will answer that war is war, and not popularity seeking.”
2. “War is cruelty. There's no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over.”
3. “Every attempt to make war easy and safe will result in humiliation and disaster.”
The war in Iraq is still winnable. But if we seek military victory, we need to fight harder, not negotiate more. If we seek only political "victory," get the troops home soon and send more diplomats.
Meanwhile, the way things look now, a third—and worst—option, is looking more and more likely.
Next stop...Korea.
I don't—and won't—ever consider a war time enemy "people we are trying to help." We didn't go to war to help the Iraqis, but to help ouselves and protect America from terrorists. If the Iraqis benefit from a regime change, fine. If not, we'll try and help after the shooting ceases.
If we plan wars based on trying to make an enemy love us rather than fear us, we're going to lose. History proves it.
That's not just my opinion. Gulf War I aside, we haven't won a major war since WW II ended. And we didn't end that one with kindness.
One old-timer who knew how to fight and win wars was General William Tecumseh Sherman. He's still reviled in the parts of Georgia he burned on the march from Atlanta to Savannah, but four months after Sherman hit Savannah, the War Between the States ended.
Sherman hated war, as do all who fight and die in battle. But he knew how to win. Here are three of Sherman's nuggets about military success:
1. “If the people raise a great howl against my barbarity and cruelty, I will answer that war is war, and not popularity seeking.”
2. “War is cruelty. There's no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over.”
3. “Every attempt to make war easy and safe will result in humiliation and disaster.”
The war in Iraq is still winnable. But if we seek military victory, we need to fight harder, not negotiate more. If we seek only political "victory," get the troops home soon and send more diplomats.
Meanwhile, the way things look now, a third—and worst—option, is looking more and more likely.
Next stop...Korea.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
A Modest Prescription For Universal Health Care
Universal health care is going to be a hot item in the 2008 presidential race. Right now candidates are proposing everything from government-owned and operated clinics to free voodoo treatments. Everyone says their plan is swell. Let's put them to the test. Every new drug is tested for years before it hits the market. Let's do the same with national health care. Whatever plan is approved, apply it to elected officials only for a ten-year trial period. From the president down to the lowest-ranking member of congress, no more VIP care for this crowd. Make them go to government-run public health clinics and stand in line like everyine else for the type of care they deserve. You can bet that after ten minutes, congress will rethink the whole government-run health care plan. Then they'll do what they do best...exempt themselves and force the rest of us to deal with government-run health care while elected officials continue their lavish, tax-paid free health care at the world's finest facilities.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
The End Is Near?
Long weekends are good for the soul but coming home can be hard on the nervous system. I take a few days off and return to blogland to learn that (1) Madonna has offered to become a spokesperson for Judaism, (2) the Minneapolis airport bathroom stall where Senator larry Craig gave tap-dancing lessons has become a tourist attraction and (3) O.J. Simpson has been arrested for a crime that may actually land him in prison. (Unless, of course, he gets a Los Angeles County jury).
If the end isn't in sight, it's just over the horizon. But thank goodness for these diversions. They keep us from thinking about even more hideous things, like Hillary Clinton becoming president
If the end isn't in sight, it's just over the horizon. But thank goodness for these diversions. They keep us from thinking about even more hideous things, like Hillary Clinton becoming president
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The Surge. Too Little, Too late.
Even if the current troop "surge" in Iraq is successful, it looks like "keeping the peace" in that part of the world could require a U.S. presence for decades.
By any definition, that's not a victory. Don't blame the soldiers. Blame the strategists. This was the world's first politically correct war, the first one where avoiding civilian casualties and protecting civilian infrastructure was as important as getting the enemy to say "I surrender." So we fought a kinder, gentler war. After Baghdad fell, the bombers quit flying and our ground troops swapped bullets and grenades for copies of "How To Win Friends And Influence People." What did we get? A few million very angry people walking around with guns, explosives and absolutely no fear of the U.S. military.
History shows that's a recipe for failure. If we had been serious about winning this war we would have put every available member of the armed forces into Iraq on day one and covered every inch of that godsforsaken piece of dirt with a blanket of steel. We would have picked one city and turned it to ashes, a very effective morale-breaker (see Hiroshima, Dresden). Then we would have shot anything that raised a hand against us and made the U.S. occupation so oppressive that the Iraqis— Shia, Sunni and Kurds alike—would have done anything to get us to leave. Anything. Even behave.
Afterwards, we would have made friends and helped rebuild the country with the clear understanding that if the locals acted up we'd come back and make things even worse than before.
Instead we tried to make friends while the official hostilities were still underway. The people we liberated are now using our soldiers as live targets and bomb-testing dummies. Our troops are the best in the world. They've given it all they had and done everything aked of them. They deserve better. So do the Iraqi people. This war could have ended a year after it began if we'd fought it more aggressively to begin with.
The time for a troop surge was 4 years ago, and it should have been an extra half a million troops, not thirty thousand.
Every day Iraq is looking more and more like a lost cause. That's a tragedy for the men and women who fought, bled and died there and the loved ones they left behind or came home to.
If we lose this war, it won't be because we weren't good enough friends to the Iraqis, but because we weren't good enough enemies.
By any definition, that's not a victory. Don't blame the soldiers. Blame the strategists. This was the world's first politically correct war, the first one where avoiding civilian casualties and protecting civilian infrastructure was as important as getting the enemy to say "I surrender." So we fought a kinder, gentler war. After Baghdad fell, the bombers quit flying and our ground troops swapped bullets and grenades for copies of "How To Win Friends And Influence People." What did we get? A few million very angry people walking around with guns, explosives and absolutely no fear of the U.S. military.
History shows that's a recipe for failure. If we had been serious about winning this war we would have put every available member of the armed forces into Iraq on day one and covered every inch of that godsforsaken piece of dirt with a blanket of steel. We would have picked one city and turned it to ashes, a very effective morale-breaker (see Hiroshima, Dresden). Then we would have shot anything that raised a hand against us and made the U.S. occupation so oppressive that the Iraqis— Shia, Sunni and Kurds alike—would have done anything to get us to leave. Anything. Even behave.
Afterwards, we would have made friends and helped rebuild the country with the clear understanding that if the locals acted up we'd come back and make things even worse than before.
Instead we tried to make friends while the official hostilities were still underway. The people we liberated are now using our soldiers as live targets and bomb-testing dummies. Our troops are the best in the world. They've given it all they had and done everything aked of them. They deserve better. So do the Iraqi people. This war could have ended a year after it began if we'd fought it more aggressively to begin with.
The time for a troop surge was 4 years ago, and it should have been an extra half a million troops, not thirty thousand.
Every day Iraq is looking more and more like a lost cause. That's a tragedy for the men and women who fought, bled and died there and the loved ones they left behind or came home to.
If we lose this war, it won't be because we weren't good enough friends to the Iraqis, but because we weren't good enough enemies.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Hot Air In D.C.
The blog has been closed while the blogger spent three days in the mountains followed by three hours in the dentist's chair getting a root canal. I escaped in time to see Congressional chatmongers begin grilling General Petraeus and Iraqi ambassador Crocker about the situation in Iraq.
After 45 minutes of mind-numbing remarks I'm convinced we have a bigger problem in Washington than Baghdad. Petraeus deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for sitting through the congresspersons' remarks. Talk about hot air. If there is indeed global warming, its home office is on the banks of the Potomac River. There should be a law against congress inviting people to answer questions and then spending all their time (and our money) making campaign speeches instead of asking questions that might actually need answering.
If anyone finds a congressperson who vows to run on a platform of keeping his or her mouth shut, let me know. I'll move to their district. Soon.
After 45 minutes of mind-numbing remarks I'm convinced we have a bigger problem in Washington than Baghdad. Petraeus deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for sitting through the congresspersons' remarks. Talk about hot air. If there is indeed global warming, its home office is on the banks of the Potomac River. There should be a law against congress inviting people to answer questions and then spending all their time (and our money) making campaign speeches instead of asking questions that might actually need answering.
If anyone finds a congressperson who vows to run on a platform of keeping his or her mouth shut, let me know. I'll move to their district. Soon.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Buy A Big Mac. Save The Planet.
Zillions of cows are now being killed to stop global warming. This time the culprit isn’t Al Gore. The murderer is McDonald’s restaurants. At least the ones in metro Japan.
The killing quickened after a Japanese government website began offering coupons for half-price Big Macs to people who pledged to fight global warming by filling out a survey. Web visitors go through a list of 39 ways they can reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Once they’re at the restaurant, customers wanting bargain BMs can present a printed questionnaire or show their results via cell phone.
So far, carbon emissions have not dropped in Japan, but plenty of cows have. Surely even Chik-Fil-A can’t be happy about this.
The killing quickened after a Japanese government website began offering coupons for half-price Big Macs to people who pledged to fight global warming by filling out a survey. Web visitors go through a list of 39 ways they can reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Once they’re at the restaurant, customers wanting bargain BMs can present a printed questionnaire or show their results via cell phone.
So far, carbon emissions have not dropped in Japan, but plenty of cows have. Surely even Chik-Fil-A can’t be happy about this.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Not-So-Friendly Skies. At Least Not For Goats
If you’re planning a trip on Nepal Airlines, don’t tell PETA. The animal rights organization is bound to be plenty upset after hearing that Nepal Air has developed an unusual way of tackling some pesky maintenance and mechanical problems. Instead of hiring better mechanics, the airline is sacrificing live animals. Yes, folks in a move with Old Testament overtones, Nepal Air has, according to Reuters News Service, sacrificed two goats to appease the Hindu sky god Akash Bhairab.
The goats were slaughtered in front of the aircraft, but not presumably not in front of the passengers.
Did it work? Something did. Shortly after the goats croaked, airline official Raju K.C., (no relation to the Sunshine Band) said, "The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights.”
The goats were slaughtered in front of the aircraft, but not presumably not in front of the passengers.
Did it work? Something did. Shortly after the goats croaked, airline official Raju K.C., (no relation to the Sunshine Band) said, "The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights.”
Fear Of Flying Returns
Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho), who resigned September 1 after being busted for tap dancing in an airport men’s room, says he may rethink his resignation and stick to his Senate seat.
To that end, he’s hired a team of lawyers and “image-building consultants.” One of them is reportedly Billy Martin, who lawyered Vick all the way to prison in his dogfighting trial.
Fortunately for his new team, Craig doesn’t have near as big a problem as Vick. Some attorneys have even said Craig’s arrest was illegal since Senators can’t be arrested on the way to and from work, even in Minneapolis.
Rats. Just when you thought it was safe to use the airport restroom again, Craig makes a comeback.
To that end, he’s hired a team of lawyers and “image-building consultants.” One of them is reportedly Billy Martin, who lawyered Vick all the way to prison in his dogfighting trial.
Fortunately for his new team, Craig doesn’t have near as big a problem as Vick. Some attorneys have even said Craig’s arrest was illegal since Senators can’t be arrested on the way to and from work, even in Minneapolis.
Rats. Just when you thought it was safe to use the airport restroom again, Craig makes a comeback.
Whoopi Needs A Whuppin'
All these years I’ve been living a lie.
Thanks go to “entertainer” Whoopi Goldberg for alerting me to the fact that I’m not what I thought. Since birth I’ve been under the impression I was a Southerner, right down to the birth certificate and dead relatives who perished in gray uniforms during the Scuffle Between the States.
But Whoopi says if I were a true Southerner I’d be just like Mike Vick, a born-again dogfighting fan.
Whoopi made this blanket indictment of Southerners during her premiere appearance as a co-host on non-hit TV show “The View.” Speaking of Vick’s fondness for dogfighting, Goldberg said, “From his background, this is not an unusual thing where he comes from. It’s like cockfighting in Puerto Rico.”
When asked by another host-ette where Vick “comes from,” Goldberg leaned over and almost whispered, “He’s from the South.”
Nice job, Whoopi. Your predecessor, Rosie O’Donnell only managed to alienate “The View’s” conservative audience. You’ve managed to alienate a whole region of the country.
By now, Whoopi’s probably learned that dogfighting is about as regional as heat rash ands sour mash. Maybe one of these days—preferably after she apologizes to all Southerners—Whoopi will get her facts straight. She played a nun in a few bad movies. Maybe it’s time for Whoopi to take a vow of silence.
Thanks go to “entertainer” Whoopi Goldberg for alerting me to the fact that I’m not what I thought. Since birth I’ve been under the impression I was a Southerner, right down to the birth certificate and dead relatives who perished in gray uniforms during the Scuffle Between the States.
But Whoopi says if I were a true Southerner I’d be just like Mike Vick, a born-again dogfighting fan.
Whoopi made this blanket indictment of Southerners during her premiere appearance as a co-host on non-hit TV show “The View.” Speaking of Vick’s fondness for dogfighting, Goldberg said, “From his background, this is not an unusual thing where he comes from. It’s like cockfighting in Puerto Rico.”
When asked by another host-ette where Vick “comes from,” Goldberg leaned over and almost whispered, “He’s from the South.”
Nice job, Whoopi. Your predecessor, Rosie O’Donnell only managed to alienate “The View’s” conservative audience. You’ve managed to alienate a whole region of the country.
By now, Whoopi’s probably learned that dogfighting is about as regional as heat rash ands sour mash. Maybe one of these days—preferably after she apologizes to all Southerners—Whoopi will get her facts straight. She played a nun in a few bad movies. Maybe it’s time for Whoopi to take a vow of silence.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Happy Labor Day
Hope normal Americans had a safe and happy Labot Day holiday. And hope even more that the fine folks in Iowa and New Hampshire didn't have their holiday weelkends ruined by the host of presidential candidates flocking to those states to talk about how labor unions saved America saved America from becoming the next sweat-shop-plagued Malaysia. But if unions are so great, why hasn't congress created one for itself? Probably because union workers have to actually WORK for a living. That would limit the congressional lifestyle, which consists mostly of selling votes for free food, free whiskey and lots of corruption-creating cash.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Labor Day Vacation
In honor of hard-working Americans (and undocumented aliens) across the fruited plain, this blog will be on vacation until Labor Day has passed. Speaking of which, if any of you are traveling by air this weekend and need to use the airport restroom, remember to check first and make sure there are no elected officials lurking in or near the stall you've selected. If you don't have a choice on seating (and who really does these days), remember this...don't tap your feet, snap your fingers or wave your hands. You could wind up out of office.
Attention Babysitters...
When you smoke dope with the kid you're keeping... DON'T put the action on your MySpace page!
Catfight On The Lunatic Left
Now PETA takes a poke at Al Gore. Head warmer's diet choices turn animal rights group green with, well, not envy.
Haeding to the 2008 Beijing Olympics?
You might want to brush up on your Chinese first. Especially if you plan on eating out.
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