alex mcrae

Lee High Pals on Facebook

2009-04-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

Nice visiting with some old Lee High pals on Facebook. And it's agood excuse to bring this old blog out of hibernation to share some stuff too lengthy for facebook. Most of you I haven't seen for years, but since 1994 I've been writing columns and articles for my local paper and several magazines. I ran across this column recently while searching some archives. It brought back some memories. Anybody remember this place but me, Linwood Erb and Medley Curry?

Born To Be Mild
I wanted to be wild more than anything else in the world, but until my
junior year in high school, the delinquent activities topped out at skipping study hall. Once.
Mine was mostly a transportation problem. It’s hard to do any serious
mischief from a bicycle.
I couldn’t drive, but I had a couple of friends who could. Medley Curry
and Linwood Erb were Lee High band buddies who joined the Navy Reserve during high school and became wise beyond their tender years.
We called them Admiral Erb and Captain Curry. During their time in the
Navy they saw some exotic sights, learned some spectacular new curse words
and most daring of all, acquired taste for beer. One Friday night they invited me to join them for a walk on the wild side.
It was a beer run. I was ecstatic at the opportunity to commit my first major league sin. My mother had been warning me for years about the two
unredeemable teenage pitfalls— sex and booze— so I was dying to give them a whirl.
Sex was still a dream, but alcohol was lurking on the horizon. I was wild, wired, alive and ready to rock. Aside from the butchered crew cut, coke bottle glasses and the Mozart t-shirt, I was the spitting image of James Dean.
The guys picked me up and we sailed full speed ahead down the
highway to hell.
A few miles out of town, Medley turned down a dirt road, followed it a
mile or two and parked in a graveled lot. The headlights illuminated a bleak concrete block shack with a hand-painted sign reading "Fuller’s Place."
We switched off the engine and waited. Ten minutes earlier I had been
pulsing with testosterone, a burning, churning rebel with an unquenchable thirst for forbidden pleasures. Now, I was sitting on my hands to hide the shaking and hoping I wouldn’t soil myself.
After a few minutes, an elderly black gentlemen looked out the door, eyeballed us and wandered over to the car.
What you boys looking for?”
“We want some beer,” said the Admiral.
“The good stuff, “ added the Captain.
Back then, decent beer was about a buck a six-pack. We gave the old man a
ten dollar bill and waited anxiously. He came out a few minutes later with a sack that looked suspiciously small.
“What’s this?” the Admiral quizzed him.
“Ten beers. That’s all you get.”
“For ten bucks?”
“Service charge.”
“Sounds high.”
“Take it or leave it.”
We took it and blew out of there in a shower of dust and gravel. When we
reached the safety of the highway we passed the sack around. I took one of the frosty cans out, held it aloft and admired it— my first, honest-to-goodness underage beer.
I cracked it open and watched as the creamy foam spilled seductively over
the side. Then I turned the can to my lips and took a long, deep pull of...Canadian Ace malt liquor.
I’ve never heard of the brand before or since, but if that beer had been
my first date, I’d have sworn off girls forever. It was ghastly, a concoction that tasted as if it had been dipped directly from Satan’s urinal.
Of course none of us acknowledged this. We rode around grinning and
swilling, saying “Smooth,” and “Cool, man.”
By stifling a stubborn gag reflex, I managed to down three cans of the
stuff. I don’t know if my discomfort was caused by drinking too much or the fact that Canadian Ace was the vilest substance to ever cross my lips, but it was all I could do to keep from throwing up right there in the car.
I had never felt so sick in my life. At least until I got home. When we pulled up at my house and I saw my mother staring out the front window, I knew a bad night was about to get worse.

testing, testing, 1..2...3

2007-12-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

the blog is preparing to commence operations again. When? You'll see it here first.

Nothing says Christmas like...

2007-11-02T12:43:00.001-07:00

Was the "art" that bad?

2007-11-02T12:29:00.001-07:00

U of Delaware punts on "All whites are racist" policy

2007-11-02T12:26:00.001-07:00

Update on amputated led found in Tennessee barbecue smoker

2007-11-02T12:23:00.001-07:00

Kitty Questions

2007-11-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

Winter is most here. My outdoor cats are almost cold. They need a nice, warm shelter for the winter. I've checked a few websites, but would like to hear from anyone with real world experience in keeping yard kitties from,becoming cat-sicles. Winning entyr gets a big "Thanks" and a blog mention. Maybe a column mention, too.

Shark story with a happy ending

2007-11-01T13:12:00.001-07:00

Pawn shop treasures

2007-11-01T13:09:00.001-07:00

Dumbest Christmas gift ever

2007-11-01T13:07:00.001-07:00

This makes bald look beautiful

2007-11-01T13:01:00.001-07:00

What are the odds?

2007-10-31T13:13:00.001-07:00

New job for Mike Vick?

2007-10-31T13:10:00.001-07:00

Delaware school redefines racist

2007-10-31T12:54:00.001-07:00

check the third paragraph for truly "enlightening" news

Crazy

2007-10-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

Too bad country music queen Patsy Cline's biggest hit "Crazy" isn't on the charts any more. It would be the perfect theme song for the 2008 presidential election. Case in point, Dem. candidate Dennis Kucinich, who recently accused George Bush of being mentally ill and a few days later confirmed he had once seen a UFO. Here's the best part...neither comment raised an eyebrow from the public or the media. Perfect.

Election Blues

2007-10-30T13:39:00.000-07:00

You gotta feel sorry for America's state and local politicians. (That is, if you care about them to begin with). Thousands of offices are up for grabs in elections to be held next week, but the locals can't get a word in edgewise because the 2008 presidential race started a year (or more) early and all the news outlets are so busy running to Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina the "little people" are lost in the shuffle. Local elections may not be as sexy as big national fistfights, but it's the officials at the local and state level who have the greatest affect on our day-to-day lives. If you haven't already, check out the local races where you live. Your vote next Tuesday will have a lot more impact on your personal quality of life than the next dozen presidential elections combined. Unless the next president goes to war...or...well, don't get me started.

Haunted WHAT?

2007-10-30T13:36:00.001-07:00

Not all the nutcases are in California

2007-10-30T13:35:00.001-07:00

VP Dick Cheney would love this pooch

2007-10-30T13:33:00.001-07:00

Maybe he should consider a kitty

2007-10-30T13:17:00.001-07:00

Scariest Halloween story ever!

2007-10-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

Some days, NOTHING goes right

2007-10-29T12:01:00.001-07:00

Guess this grad didn't major in accounting

2007-10-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

Hitting the Road

2007-10-24T13:37:00.002-07:00

The Blog is heading to Cajun Country in south Louisiana for a few days so I can get back to my roots and polish my diminished crawfish-eating skills. If any news breaks down there, you'll hear it here last. Meanwhile, send a prayer (or several) out to the California homeowners and firefighters trying to cope with that terrible tragedy. Property loss has been tremendous, but loss of life low. Pray it stays that way. If you want to help, the Red Cross is taking donations for fire victims, by the way.

Misery at the Mullet Festival

2007-10-24T13:37:00.001-07:00

Strange bedfellows

2007-10-24T13:35:00.001-07:00

Yeah...This will go over big on Halloween

2007-10-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

More proof that The End Is Near

2007-10-24T13:31:00.000-07:00

Babysitter (and moron) of the day

2007-10-24T13:27:00.001-07:00

Another squirrel danger

2007-10-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

Firefighters told to stay off...ladders

2007-10-22T13:40:00.001-07:00

Lawyers still rule. Unfortunately

2007-10-22T13:38:00.001-07:00

Duke does it again

2007-10-22T13:33:00.001-07:00

Debate Fatigue

2007-10-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

I generally keep up with the national news, so I was pretty surprised last night when when my usual channel surfing revealed a Republican presidential debate in progress. LIke most of the rest of America, I wasn't aware it was even scheduled. Like most of the rest of America (according to TV ratings) I didn't bother to watch. That's because, like most of the rest of America, there have been so many so-called debates already this year, I'm am absolutely sick of them. And there's still over a year to go before the final ballots are cast. Whether you're a Republican or Democrat, surely you'll agree this is waaaay too much about nothing. At this point I'm willing to vote for the man or woman who promises to STOP ALL DEBATES here and now and not open their mouth again until the three scheduled (so far) debates are aired between the parties' actual nominees. That will be next fall. I don't know who's advising these people but apparently they don't realize that overexposure is a sure way to go stale in a hurry.

Blog Burglary

2007-10-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that all blog postings entered on October 17 and 18 did NOT appear. This included a great one involving a threesome Al Gore, a sea otter and Rosi O'Donnell. It's impossible to locate the unposted posts so now they're just lost and gone forever. No one can explain why. Commie spies or Greenpeace members could be involved. The local police, state patrol, FBI, CIA and ASPCA have been alerted and are investigating. The person responsible for this tragic failure will be fired. Meanwhile, keep reading. Or having a life, whichever suits you best.

This would make a great Congressional retirement home

2007-10-19T11:57:00.001-07:00

Who says you can't buy love? At least for a while

2007-10-19T11:54:00.001-07:00

Sweet way to save the planet

2007-10-19T11:51:00.001-07:00

Real Justice, at last

2007-10-19T11:44:00.001-07:00

And you thought YOUR preacher had problems

2007-10-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Attention Tea Lovers...

2007-10-16T09:57:00.001-07:00

I'll stick with the Big Mac, thanks.

2007-10-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

These dogs need a lawyer. Quick

2007-10-15T13:50:00.001-07:00

Rotating cabin? Is this really the way to safer streets?

2007-10-15T13:48:00.001-07:00

Brits find new way to dodge Christmas

2007-10-15T13:46:00.001-07:00

Flying cows? This makes me feel bad for whining about my little wreck

2007-10-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hola, Amigo

2007-10-15T13:26:00.000-07:00

Met a new friend this weekend. Well, maybe I didn't exactly meet him, but I saw him in my rearview mirror just before he smacked me in the back bumper at about 30 miles per hour. I would have chatted while we swapped insurance info, but he was in too big a hurry to get away since he was both "undocumented" and drunk as a skunk. Cops caught him a quarter mile down the road when he hit a stone fence and knocked the wheels from under his car. Since it was just after lunch on Sunday, there were kids playing nearby. Thank God none were hit. My new Hispanic friend was cuffed and hauled to jail before we had a chance to talk. Cops say he didn't have a license, but app.eared to be insured. Let's hope that miracle turns out to be true. Meanwhile, here's today's tip for safer motoring...if you hear some really loud salsa music coming in your direction, don't wait until the car is in your rearview mirror to duck...just pull off the road and call it in. Believe me, it will save a lot of time and trouble. I'll let you know how this case progresses. And call me cynical, but from what the cops said, if the guy bonds out, chances are he won't be here any more when the case goes to court. LIfe in America, I guess.

Art goes down the hole...

2007-10-12T10:05:00.001-07:00

Not all political candidates are dull

2007-10-12T10:01:00.001-07:00

Another reason to love (good) cats

2007-10-12T09:55:00.001-07:00

I now pronounce you man and..What?

2007-10-12T09:50:00.001-07:00

Australia ups the meaning of "No worries, mate."

2007-10-11T13:58:00.001-07:00

Ultimate pet irony

2007-10-11T13:55:00.001-07:00

Now THAT'S an animal lover

2007-10-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

NASCAR hazardous to your health?

2007-10-11T13:45:00.001-07:00

Congrats to Algore

2007-10-11T13:43:00.001-07:00

As of this writing (10-11-07 4:40 p.m. EDT), it looks like former Vice-President Al Gore is soon to be named winner of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Although I don't know what Gores' specialty—hot weather—has to do with world peace, I'd like to be among the first to offer congratulations for joining dead terrorist Yasir Arafat and looney former president Jimmy Carter as winners of this prestigious award. Most of all, I hope Al doesn't have any trouble pedaling his carbon-neutral bicycle across the Atlantic to Stockholm to collect his prize.

Just What America Needs

2007-10-10T14:36:00.001-07:00

Advice from the guy who dumped Princess Di for Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Thirty days For "24"'s Jack Bauer?

2007-10-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

Oh...That's Much Better

2007-10-10T14:29:00.001-07:00

A Very Special Bunch

2007-10-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've spent most of the last two weeks interviewing World War II veterans for a special project at the Times-Herald. We're trying to interview as many vets as we can find as soon as possible and—beginning on Veteran's Day—present all their stories in the months to follow.
I could write a book about what I've seen and heard in the last 10 days. Not the war stories, but the heartfelt, and often tearful, reminiscences of comrades who fell in battle and liberated prisoners of war and victims of Hitler's death camps.
I've spent hours with these members of the so-called "Greatest Generation." So far, not a one has been able to tell their war time story without breaking down in tears. That may be the most lasting legacy they leave. Not that they saved the free world from God-knows-what, but that after all these years, their hearts are free of anger and filled only with heartbreaking memories of the terrible waste and suffering that war always brings.
If you know a WWII vet and haven't talked to them, take a moment and do it. If they're not up to it, be understanding. Most of all, whether they talk to you or not, tell them "Thanks." Not for being patriots. But for being such fine people. And I guarantee, most are.
God Bless them all.

Coming Soon To A Men's Room Near You

2007-10-08T07:10:00.001-07:00

Looking (at his) Back, This Was Probably A Bad Idea

2007-10-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

Maybe They Should Have Considered Separate Bedrooms

2007-10-08T07:05:00.001-07:00

Join The National Guard. Fight In Iraq. Then Come Home And Get Screwed

2007-10-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

This never happened with 8-track tapes

2007-10-05T14:27:00.001-07:00

Non-Terrorist Cleavage Exposed

2007-10-05T14:25:00.001-07:00

Moose Thinks He's A Moo-er

2007-10-05T14:20:00.001-07:00

After-Hours Farmer Busted

2007-10-05T14:17:00.001-07:00

Probably demands Doritos in cell block

Hey, Boss. Open That Gift Quick. Or Else.

2007-10-04T13:57:00.001-07:00

Finally. A reason to fence the border.

2007-10-04T13:49:00.001-07:00

Those who say the best way to stop illegal immigration from Mexico and South America are thrilled to death. Mostly because the Bush administration has finally found a really, really good reason to finally build a 2,000-mile long fence along the southern border.
Here's the surprise. In a recent defense of the fence, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said the fence's main benefit won't be keeping out folks who refuse to follow the legal path to immigration. Chertoff—in a move that must make Al Gore green with envy—said we need the fence because it will ...
drum roll, please...

HELP THE ENVIRONMENT!!!

No fooling.
"Illegal migrants really degrade the environment. I've seen pictures of human waste, garbage, discarded bottles and other human artifact in pristine areas," Chertoff told The Associated Press. "And believe me, that is the worst thing you can do to the environment."
What a day. Greens and Gringos finally find a way to join hands and achieve the same result for vastly different reasons. I almost feel like singing a verse or two of "Cum Bah Ya" myself.

Satan's favorite restaurant?

2007-10-03T09:26:00.001-07:00

It's certainly hot enough

Let's check those jail vs. college figures for black males one more time. OOPS!

2007-10-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

Cat writes Pope's biography

2007-10-03T09:16:00.003-07:00

Cat writes Pope's biography

2007-10-03T09:16:00.001-07:00

Remember the one about...

2007-10-03T09:14:00.001-07:00

The guy who forgot his leg at a storage locker?

Liberals, conservatives finally agree on SOMETHING

2007-10-03T09:03:00.001-07:00

An Incident You WON'T See On Wild Kingdom

2007-10-01T07:44:00.001-07:00

You'll Never Look At Breakfast The Same Way Again

2007-10-01T07:38:00.001-07:00

Paying The Piper. BIG TIME

2007-10-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

Cost of Higher Education About To Go Higher Still?

2007-10-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

Good news for parents and parents-to-be arrived last week from presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Hillary has just proposed a plan whereby the "government' would supply each baby born in America with a $5,000 bond. By "government" she means taxpayers. The child could use the money when it grew up for a college education or , in Hillary's words, ...buying a home."
This proposal will no doubt appeal to everyone who thinks government should be responsible for the care, feeding, housing and higher education of all its citizens regardless of their contribution to said efforts.
It's certainly a boon for parents who don't want to pay for their own kid's education. And why should they when they can use the government to take money from others to do it? The only ones who will suffer are people with jobs who will now have to educate both their children and complete strangers without having a say in the matter.
Most folks will call this another handout. And not a cheap one. Early estimates tag the program at $20 billion year year to start with.
But Hillary insist it's not a government handout.
She calls it "saving," saying, "...more savings, starting with the so-called baby bonds idea where every person born in this country would be given that kind of account because we want to make an investment in America's young people."
I just have one question. How can it be considered "saving" when some of the people who benefit from the program don't save a dime.They just get someone else's money for free and calling it savings.
Maybe it's just me, but this one sounds like pure income redistribution.
Karl Marx must be smiling.

Pit bulls AND marijuana...

2007-09-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Mike Vick Needs To Meet This Guy

And you thought YOUR cat was spoiled?

2007-09-27T05:58:00.001-07:00

Not The Best Way To Start Your Marriage

2007-09-27T05:51:00.001-07:00

Technical problems

2007-09-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

The blog is closed for business on Wednesday, September 26. The dog ate my computer. Back tomorrow with bells (and whistles) on.

"...a portable item of foreground interest."

2007-09-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

Pull quote of the day

Who Says You Can't Buy Love?

2007-09-25T13:39:00.001-07:00

One Way To Solve A Home Improvement Problem

2007-09-25T13:29:00.001-07:00

Iranians may be happy, but they're not gay.

2007-09-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

Iranian President Mahmoud "Nutcase" Ahmadenijad just finished an action-packed visit to the U.S. On day two, he was hooted at the United Nations. His first day in the U.S. was his best, though. That's when he spoke to alleged "students" at Columbia University.
After a scolding from the school president, Ahmadenijad rambled a bit about his wacky ideas and tried to defend his earlier statements that the holocaust didn't really happen. But the best part was when—in the kind of stunning cultural statement usually reserved for the Sean Penns and Susan Sarandons of the world,—Ahmadenijad announced there were no gay people in Iran.
If Iran's queasy core of supporters ever needed a reason to bash this boy, there it is. An entire country with no gay people? Heresy. In a world where diversity is celebrated above competence and common sense, this dude couldn't have made a bigger blunder.
The fact that Iran is building nukes doesn't bother some people. This will. Ahmadenijad may soon be booted off the world stage for insensitivity, if nothing else.
If not, expect gay leaders to push for the sexual desegregate the former Persia. From a distance, of course. Elton may cook up a Gay Rights concert for Iran, but you can bet he'll perform it somewhere else. Somewhere people still have the right to think, say and be...what they want without fear of the Muslim "re-education" squads.

The Ultimate "Crack" Bust

2007-09-24T12:35:00.001-07:00

Whine of the Week

2007-09-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

Is there anything we can't complain about today?
Our outrage du jour comes from the Koehler Senior Center in Mahopac, N.Y. For years the county had been donating free donuts and other baked goods to the seniors.
Then someone said (probably quite rightly) that the goodies weren't healthy. So the free goodies soon stopped. Some seniors are complaining. Why? Not because they miss their unhealthy (but mostly delicious) treats. Nope, folks are fussing because they didn't have a say in whether or not their free food delivery would continue. One resident said, "It was a matter of respect" and that the seniors—not the people delivering the free donuts— should have made the decision on whether or not to keep accepting the freebies. So now canceling free donuts is showing disrespec? What's next...a lawsuit? I wouldn't be surprised. In modern America, if something doesn't go your way, you don't solve the problem, you take it to court.
By the way, there's a donut shop right down the street. Wonder if these seniors have considered their "right' to go buy all the jelly donuts they want.