What are the odds?

New job for Mike Vick?

Delaware school redefines racist

check the third paragraph for truly "enlightening" news

Crazy

Too bad country music queen Patsy Cline's biggest hit "Crazy" isn't on the charts any more. It would be the perfect theme song for the 2008 presidential election. Case in point, Dem. candidate Dennis Kucinich, who recently accused George Bush of being mentally ill and a few days later confirmed he had once seen a UFO. Here's the best part...neither comment raised an eyebrow from the public or the media. Perfect.

Election Blues

You gotta feel sorry for America's state and local politicians. (That is, if you care about them to begin with). Thousands of offices are up for grabs in elections to be held next week, but the locals can't get a word in edgewise because the 2008 presidential race started a year (or more) early and all the news outlets are so busy running to Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina the "little people" are lost in the shuffle. Local elections may not be as sexy as big national fistfights, but it's the officials at the local and state level who have the greatest affect on our day-to-day lives. If you haven't already, check out the local races where you live. Your vote next Tuesday will have a lot more impact on your personal quality of life than the next dozen presidential elections combined. Unless the next president goes to war...or...well, don't get me started.

Haunted WHAT?

Not all the nutcases are in California

VP Dick Cheney would love this pooch

Maybe he should consider a kitty

Scariest Halloween story ever!

Some days, NOTHING goes right

Guess this grad didn't major in accounting

Hitting the Road

The Blog is heading to Cajun Country in south Louisiana for a few days so I can get back to my roots and polish my diminished crawfish-eating skills. If any news breaks down there, you'll hear it here last. Meanwhile, send a prayer (or several) out to the California homeowners and firefighters trying to cope with that terrible tragedy. Property loss has been tremendous, but loss of life low. Pray it stays that way. If you want to help, the Red Cross is taking donations for fire victims, by the way.

Misery at the Mullet Festival

Strange bedfellows

Yeah...This will go over big on Halloween

More proof that The End Is Near

Babysitter (and moron) of the day

Another squirrel danger

Firefighters told to stay off...ladders

Lawyers still rule. Unfortunately

Duke does it again

Debate Fatigue

I generally keep up with the national news, so I was pretty surprised last night when when my usual channel surfing revealed a Republican presidential debate in progress. LIke most of the rest of America, I wasn't aware it was even scheduled. Like most of the rest of America (according to TV ratings) I didn't bother to watch. That's because, like most of the rest of America, there have been so many so-called debates already this year, I'm am absolutely sick of them. And there's still over a year to go before the final ballots are cast. Whether you're a Republican or Democrat, surely you'll agree this is waaaay too much about nothing. At this point I'm willing to vote for the man or woman who promises to STOP ALL DEBATES here and now and not open their mouth again until the three scheduled (so far) debates are aired between the parties' actual nominees. That will be next fall. I don't know who's advising these people but apparently they don't realize that overexposure is a sure way to go stale in a hurry.

Blog Burglary

It has come to my attention that all blog postings entered on October 17 and 18 did NOT appear. This included a great one involving a threesome Al Gore, a sea otter and Rosi O'Donnell. It's impossible to locate the unposted posts so now they're just lost and gone forever. No one can explain why. Commie spies or Greenpeace members could be involved. The local police, state patrol, FBI, CIA and ASPCA have been alerted and are investigating. The person responsible for this tragic failure will be fired. Meanwhile, keep reading. Or having a life, whichever suits you best.

This would make a great Congressional retirement home

Who says you can't buy love? At least for a while

Sweet way to save the planet

Real Justice, at last

And you thought YOUR preacher had problems

Attention Tea Lovers...

I'll stick with the Big Mac, thanks.

These dogs need a lawyer. Quick

Rotating cabin? Is this really the way to safer streets?

Brits find new way to dodge Christmas

Flying cows? This makes me feel bad for whining about my little wreck

Hola, Amigo

Met a new friend this weekend. Well, maybe I didn't exactly meet him, but I saw him in my rearview mirror just before he smacked me in the back bumper at about 30 miles per hour. I would have chatted while we swapped insurance info, but he was in too big a hurry to get away since he was both "undocumented" and drunk as a skunk. Cops caught him a quarter mile down the road when he hit a stone fence and knocked the wheels from under his car. Since it was just after lunch on Sunday, there were kids playing nearby. Thank God none were hit. My new Hispanic friend was cuffed and hauled to jail before we had a chance to talk. Cops say he didn't have a license, but app.eared to be insured. Let's hope that miracle turns out to be true. Meanwhile, here's today's tip for safer motoring...if you hear some really loud salsa music coming in your direction, don't wait until the car is in your rearview mirror to duck...just pull off the road and call it in. Believe me, it will save a lot of time and trouble. I'll let you know how this case progresses. And call me cynical, but from what the cops said, if the guy bonds out, chances are he won't be here any more when the case goes to court. LIfe in America, I guess.

Art goes down the hole...

Not all political candidates are dull

Another reason to love (good) cats

I now pronounce you man and..What?

Australia ups the meaning of "No worries, mate."

Ultimate pet irony

Now THAT'S an animal lover

NASCAR hazardous to your health?

Congrats to Algore

As of this writing (10-11-07 4:40 p.m. EDT), it looks like former Vice-President Al Gore is soon to be named winner of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Although I don't know what Gores' specialty—hot weather—has to do with world peace, I'd like to be among the first to offer congratulations for joining dead terrorist Yasir Arafat and looney former president Jimmy Carter as winners of this prestigious award. Most of all, I hope Al doesn't have any trouble pedaling his carbon-neutral bicycle across the Atlantic to Stockholm to collect his prize.

Just What America Needs

Advice from the guy who dumped Princess Di for Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Thirty days For "24"'s Jack Bauer?

Oh...That's Much Better

A Very Special Bunch

I've spent most of the last two weeks interviewing World War II veterans for a special project at the Times-Herald. We're trying to interview as many vets as we can find as soon as possible and—beginning on Veteran's Day—present all their stories in the months to follow.
I could write a book about what I've seen and heard in the last 10 days. Not the war stories, but the heartfelt, and often tearful, reminiscences of comrades who fell in battle and liberated prisoners of war and victims of Hitler's death camps.
I've spent hours with these members of the so-called "Greatest Generation." So far, not a one has been able to tell their war time story without breaking down in tears. That may be the most lasting legacy they leave. Not that they saved the free world from God-knows-what, but that after all these years, their hearts are free of anger and filled only with heartbreaking memories of the terrible waste and suffering that war always brings.
If you know a WWII vet and haven't talked to them, take a moment and do it. If they're not up to it, be understanding. Most of all, whether they talk to you or not, tell them "Thanks." Not for being patriots. But for being such fine people. And I guarantee, most are.
God Bless them all.

Coming Soon To A Men's Room Near You

Looking (at his) Back, This Was Probably A Bad Idea

Maybe They Should Have Considered Separate Bedrooms

Join The National Guard. Fight In Iraq. Then Come Home And Get Screwed

This never happened with 8-track tapes

Non-Terrorist Cleavage Exposed

Moose Thinks He's A Moo-er

After-Hours Farmer Busted

Probably demands Doritos in cell block

Hey, Boss. Open That Gift Quick. Or Else.

Finally. A reason to fence the border.

Those who say the best way to stop illegal immigration from Mexico and South America are thrilled to death. Mostly because the Bush administration has finally found a really, really good reason to finally build a 2,000-mile long fence along the southern border.
Here's the surprise. In a recent defense of the fence, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said the fence's main benefit won't be keeping out folks who refuse to follow the legal path to immigration. Chertoff—in a move that must make Al Gore green with envy—said we need the fence because it will ...
drum roll, please...

HELP THE ENVIRONMENT!!!

No fooling.
"Illegal migrants really degrade the environment. I've seen pictures of human waste, garbage, discarded bottles and other human artifact in pristine areas," Chertoff told The Associated Press. "And believe me, that is the worst thing you can do to the environment."
What a day. Greens and Gringos finally find a way to join hands and achieve the same result for vastly different reasons. I almost feel like singing a verse or two of "Cum Bah Ya" myself.

Satan's favorite restaurant?

It's certainly hot enough

Let's check those jail vs. college figures for black males one more time. OOPS!

Cat writes Pope's biography

Cat writes Pope's biography

Remember the one about...

The guy who forgot his leg at a storage locker?

Liberals, conservatives finally agree on SOMETHING

An Incident You WON'T See On Wild Kingdom

You'll Never Look At Breakfast The Same Way Again

Paying The Piper. BIG TIME

Cost of Higher Education About To Go Higher Still?

Good news for parents and parents-to-be arrived last week from presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Hillary has just proposed a plan whereby the "government' would supply each baby born in America with a $5,000 bond. By "government" she means taxpayers. The child could use the money when it grew up for a college education or , in Hillary's words, ...buying a home."
This proposal will no doubt appeal to everyone who thinks government should be responsible for the care, feeding, housing and higher education of all its citizens regardless of their contribution to said efforts.
It's certainly a boon for parents who don't want to pay for their own kid's education. And why should they when they can use the government to take money from others to do it? The only ones who will suffer are people with jobs who will now have to educate both their children and complete strangers without having a say in the matter.
Most folks will call this another handout. And not a cheap one. Early estimates tag the program at $20 billion year year to start with.
But Hillary insist it's not a government handout.
She calls it "saving," saying, "...more savings, starting with the so-called baby bonds idea where every person born in this country would be given that kind of account because we want to make an investment in America's young people."
I just have one question. How can it be considered "saving" when some of the people who benefit from the program don't save a dime.They just get someone else's money for free and calling it savings.
Maybe it's just me, but this one sounds like pure income redistribution.
Karl Marx must be smiling.